The Thing About Flying

1. The hunger, stimulated by several glasses of complimentary water.

2. Being the only confused person in a sea of confident looking travelers, who talk on their cell phones as they walk off of an escalator. This baffles me.

3. Feet that are either freezing or sweaty.

4. The tense quiet that settles when you take your seat. I must have ‘talker’ written on my forehead. People are so afraid to say anything, lest I launch into small talk (which I will.)

5. Beware the Man Spread, in which knees knock against yours from both side.

6. Don’t swing your suitcase from the overhead bin and onto the head of a Japanese Grandma behind you.

7. Laughing at the safety videos, where only three people board the plane, with smiles of wonderment at the spacious traveling conditions.

8. The lights blinking, which is pretty much proof that you’re going to crash any second.

9. Discreetly crying onto your neighbour’s shoulder as you watch a movie.

10. That touchdown moment when the wheel is spewing smoke. And then. you. stop.

 

And I really love traveling by plane. I probably should have my head examined.

 

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