I ran an errand Thanksgiving morning that took me through back country. The leaves are peaked in brilliance and sometimes, the beauty of them hit me like a sort of love-sickness.
I stopped on the side of the road, took pictures…it is never quite the same as what I see with my eyes. Beauty and I have a troubled relationship. It exists, by God’s grace in this world and I want to capture it in a way that was never intended.
I take the pictures, I draw it, I try to replicate the colours of what I see with cotton threads in different shapes. I want to stuff everything good in my pockets and take it home. I want to share it with that person and keep the whole thing; the scene, the song, the moment, forever.
I want guarantees.
There’s a man standing in front of his barn door with a coffee cup in hand. His plaid jacket is faded to shades of brown, and he’s simply standing and taking in the frosted morning air. The picture of him stays in my mind, because he seems complete and content in what he sees. He is not frantic to grab it, greedy.
For him, it seems, enough is actually enough.
I meet a woman walking towards me, and she’s smiling to herself as she carries a pie to some friend. She looks like she is happy to be alive and moving on a country road.
And I remember my sister-in-law once telling me wisely, God will not withhold any good thing that you need.
He gives, he gives….enough.
It would seem that like everything, I must even give my full moments to God, resting that there is no amount of grasping or sharing with the world, that could make it better.
So, whatever longing is in my heart today….it is not a sign that I need more. The moments He gives are what I need, given in great love and perfect knowledge of who I am. And surely, that is where I am happy to rest.