When I miss you most, I’m driving down a strange split road, where people drive 65 mph and stop at lights on a dime.
I miss you when I’m paralyzed with indecision about whether this store, an unfamiliar sign and front, will have what I actually want.
When I get in the car and just circle aimlessly, wishing I knew where to find the green space that I’m craving.
Where to find the friendliest librarians, the freshest produce, the cheapest thrift items.
All the things I took for granted when I knew every route like the back of my hand, when I could expect the rhythm of every restaurant and hiking trail.
I miss strangers knowing exactly who my parents are and the trust that extends from familiar face to familiar face.
A warm sweetness of blossom and asphalt hang around my door now, interrupting the crisp apple of a memory. Fresh bread greets my mind when I walk through the doors of my hometown and I’m hungry for it.
Hungry for the comfort of knowing and being known. Wherever we are, this is the human search in our food, our hobbies, the places we go. Doesn’t a baby know exactly where it belongs because that is where it finds comfort?
You can love something new, while still missing the old and that is my constant balancing act, my privilege, challenge and bitter sweet joy in this season.
And I have to ask. What do you miss the most about where you came from?